December 25, 2009

What if - Astonishing X-Men Review

This review may content spoilers and harsh personal opinion. And hatred.

Yes, the story takes place before the whole Cyclops'  "I'm in love with you now"-deal, so we could say he didn't actually love Emma at that moment. And then Jean comes back, who died on his hands, so it's only logical to break up with Emma because, you know, she was just a sexy woman holding Jeans place warm in case she comes back, right? Right?
Oh, crap, wait a minute! Cyclops was actually with Emma when Jean was alive! He didn't even feel ashamed about kissing Frost near Jean's grave, because he wanted to act like he wanted to act and do what his heart told him to do. Oh, how could we forget about that! But if we didn't, then the writer certainly did. 
The whole deal with Scott being all over Jean the second she comes back is really stupid. He told Emma himself - if he would find himself liking another woman, he will do everything to get his thoughts off her, he will bury himself in work. Does it sound like Scott? Sure. Does him hitting on Jean in her bedroom at her FIRST night at the Institute sound like Scott? Hardly.
Oh, and does anyone recall Scott telling Jean that he loves her before she died? No? Yeah, because it never happened. She called him a friend and he apologized, that was it. If you don't tell your wife you love her when she is about to die, it almost certainly proves the love is gone. 
And I HATE Scott standing near Jean when Emma dies. I HATE her hand on his shoulder - does the woman have no respect? Emma is dead and Jean makes her move on Scott? Christ! It stinks of "Wolverine and the X-Men" so much I want to throw up.
I hate Emma in this What if, too. What the hell? Yes, Cassandra Nova has driven her insane, but what did Emma do? She fought it, she made the X-Men hate her so they would kill her and so she would not harm them. She certainly would NOT kill Stepford Cuckoos! She was driven by guilt, remember? Of her children dying on Genosha? How exactly can guilt make her kill some more of her students? Her daughters? So no, I'm not buying it.
I should say that Emma's monologue about Jean being the death of them all sounded good, though.  
Plus - Kitty Pryde ripping Emma's heart out - she just wouldn't do that. It's Kitty Pryde we're talking about. She's a badass and I like her a bit, but she's not a killer. Plus - after me seeing how Emma cried when Kitty died in the 616-Universe, and how they talked just before Kitty's "death" - seeing them fighting and bitching is just boring and stupid. 
So: The author had no idea of the relationship of Emma, Jean and Scott and he had no idea how to write them, so he went for personality-less wood dolls instead.


  1. It was not the best of stories, but the same thing can be said for most "What If":s out there.

    Their only purpose is to tell stories that would never happen in the main continuity after all.